Confess.

i'm looking towards the brightside
it's not bad, but it's hard though
to play a game of dice
other player being my shadow, enemy
so i'm aiming for interdependence
independent sentences, dont give out much streams
and lonliness accompanied seems to be my, only caffeine
i be putting alot of faith in God and my schemes
figured out, somethings, normally become awkward
i'm just searching for dopamine and the outlook I forward
all i'm seeing now, resembles resident evils and some unpromised deeds
it's funny to mention money now because it's feeding the greed
social life makes you want to comeup quick, I got my whole life to do this
slow down, take a breather, reminisce before I dismiss the fluid
that is flowing from the pen, learning- as I go though this
I'm spending time, reading through the greats, pondering how they did it
imagining a life in their perspective, wondering how they lived it
education, stress and setbacks occupying my more recent years
bench warming dreams and goals sitting next to ambition and fears
Constructing to alleviate, the corruption in my belief systems
in an ocean full of snakes, getting caught up like some fishing
it's amusing to read what people type up, it's like a confession
but what they don't confess poses a little bit more questions
something someone won't release, everything is solely preference
reference for ownself, everybody has a damn story to tell
hell..
if it's straight from the heart...
I guess the devils makes us,
a little more smart
glorifying such troubles, products of an art
so I begin to think my confession,
Lord where do I start?

Honest.

It's like, are things worth it
Ideally from the media, but need the personal purpose
I gain descriptive emotions when marchin', music with me only
I want to be what's in me, but I'd rather have someone with me tell me
at the top it's lonely and it's really catching up
I'm not unhappy, but the nostalgia is stacking up
in the inside realm, outside world walkin'
exploration with no destination, only faith hears me talkin'
clockin' in when I feel some confidence has plummit
summit the higher world, shooting stars like I gun it
like a self titled cynic, stayed stuck questioning
purpose is somewhere, tryna capture it but posed no where
observations keepin' everything in plain view
the comfort of old feelings, good, bad or is it brand new?
negativity keeps shoutin' fuck life, I got soul
record spinning' world off playin, jazzy hiphop souls
quick thinkin' slow perception with vivid images,
noise nuisance, convos catapulting, arguments and finishin'
atmospheric feely, chilly chillin' on doses of medications
natural kind, no clonin', feelin' ambiance precipitation
feel me like meditation and spirits, we lift like research group
excellin' exhalin, writer rider, with a stay relevant loop
I need someone, not anyone, to tell me where's everyone
In this world with a million faces, but i only need one
to make me sure, rest assure, that loneliness is temporary
because I'm sick of feeling art like it's just too much therapy
everyday the sun shines so I'm alive, bottom line
but wishing hoping and dreaming run on the same line
if you ask me, my soul is rather healthy,
wealthy 'cause I know when people say tell me
the questions that their own feelings may damage
like I know what to tell 'em but I'm just leveled headed
But I get so used to knowing what's gonna happen, I don't even bother
like breaking my own heart, like I don't need a lover
sometimes i don't know what to say, feel or do
the idea of fate, faith, and destiny, can't trust is true
whatever really happens, really happens, and that's it
whoever really wants something gets it, stays legit
If I said it then I meant it, it's not meant to change
the only thing though, is the variance of range
ultimately, unsatisfied and undone like looking for art
you can add a touch of happiness, in itself turning heArts
I love writing, but it's thoughts that make me write
At times I don't appreciate that though, above the clouds overnight...




btw, can't wait for the actual winter season. I love the cold :)